Rejoice In Truth, Speak With Love

There are very few things I can write about with firsthand knowledge. I may not be an expert on those few subjects, but I can speak from a place of experience. Having given birth to three wonderfully sweet babies, and as I am still in the process of raising those still growing humans, I feel I can confidently say that being pregnant and being a mama is hard. Everything about you changes from the very first moment those tiny cells join and begin becoming something more than they would ever be on their own.

Your body changes. It almost becomes foreign as you feel things physically shift and move inside and out. It never goes back to the way it was before. Not only are you changing, but that newly formed life inside of you is also changing. You begin to feel every movement they make the more they grow. Sometimes you wonder if their future career will be "gymnast" as you watch your entire belly sway and roll even though you are sitting completely still.

Your hormones change. I recall a moment of pure joy I had that brought me to a place of strange emotions. During my last pregnancy, I burst into tears as I devoured my Zaxby's salad. My husband, looking very concerned, asked if I was alright. Through my cries, I managed to say, "This is the best salad I have ever eaten! It makes me so happy! Thanks for getting it for me!" On the other end of the spectrum, I also admit that I have had to be on anxiety medication off and on since the birth of my first child. The highs and lows of your emotions as you knew them, reach new heights and dive to deeper depths. You go from "Glorious salad!" to "I will never get this right!" and sometimes you go to both places in the span of 5 minutes.

Your abilities change. Yes, I lost the ability to do some things freely. By the end of each pregnancy, I couldn't even tie my shoes on my own due to the giant basketball shape protruding from my mid-section. As soon as they were born, I lost the ability to shower, use the bathroom, or walk into another room alone. To be honest, 17, 15, and 6 years later, I still can't do those things alone. But change doesn't always mean losing something. I gained the ability to love more than I ever thought possible. I gained the ability to speak up for my children. I gained a strength I never knew was possible. Most of all I gained the ability to understand the description of God as our Heavenly Father. I can now see His creation through the eyes of a parent.

Your responsibilities change. I don't really know how selfish I was before children. Perhaps it's because I have a tough time remembering life before them in some ways. I do know that I became much less important to myself from the moment I knew they were growing inside me. The things I ate changed, the way I moved changed, the way I planned life changed when my babies came into my life. My level of responsibility went up exponentially more than it ever had at any other point in my life. It wasn't the same as adding my husband to my life. This was not another grown person that mostly had it together. This was a completely dependent human being. They relied on me from the very moment they were conceived to sustain the life that had been breathed into them. No pressure, right?

Pregnancy, giving birth, and raising those precious ones have been amongst the hardest things I have ever done. It's not always pretty or painless. I cannot look over all that we have been through as a family and say everything has been perfect but, I can look back with joy and know that I have loved nearly every minute of it. Even with all the changes my body had to endure, the things I had to set aside, and the tough choices I have had to make as a parent, I would never choose to change any part of the life God has blessed me with.

I know I am only able to say these things because of the love and presence of God and His people in my life. However, I am not naive enough to think that every woman shares the same experience. While my heart rejoices that laws are being passed that protect the precious little souls created by their loving heavenly Father, it would be wrong to ignore the hurt coming from those on the "other side." They too are precious souls created by a loving Heavenly Father and those souls are in pain. If we listen past the rhetoric, we can hear some of the questions that are really being asked by many. These questions, asked in sincerity, should speak to us as Christians seeking to do the will of the same Heavenly Father that created all of us. Our number one job as followers of Christ is to show the world who He is. We can only do that if we exemplify His patience and understanding. Yes, we must be straight forward and speak the truth, but we have to do that in love by meeting others where their questions are. Here is what I hear when I really listen beyond many of the shouts:

What about the woman who is scared and alone?
What about the woman who cannot afford to care for her children?
What about the circumstances surrounding the reason she is now pregnant?
Why don't those who commit the crimes against women that cause the fear, poverty, and hurtful situations appear to receive the same scrutiny as the one carrying this life you claim is so precious?
If no one cares for me how am I supposed to care for someone else?
What about my precious life?

I hope that as these questions are now swirling in the minds of many we, as Christians, stand ready to answer. I hope we will stand up and tell the hurting that because they are fellow image bearers of the one true and holy God and because God has tasked us to do good to all, we will help in the ways that we can. Let us say, "If I can calm your fear, help deal with your financial situation, or help counsel you and comfort you whatever your current circumstance, I will. I can treat you and your blessed child with love, respect, and decency, I can be a voice against those who have hurt you and remind you that they were wrong, I can pray fiercely as an advocate before the throne of God and help in whatever way I am able. Most of all I will welcome you with open arms and allow God to do His work as he heals and protects."

While we as Christians rejoice at the passing of new laws concerning abortion that we believe will be a blessing in God's creation, we cannot merely shout for joy and then sit idly by while we still see people who are hurting. Perhaps if those of us who have found the grace of God would be gracious enough to treat others with the very Christ-like understanding and kindness we have been so blessed to receive, many fears would be alleviated. As much as we need to stand up and speak out against what God has declared sinful, we also need to follow the example of God in the Flesh and reach out to those in this world still caught in its clutches. We can and we must do both.

Some verses to read and study as these thoughts are considered:

Genesis 1:26-27
Psalm 139:13
Ephesians 4:14-16
Galatians 6:1-10
Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
Matthew 7:12, 21-23; 28:18-20
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (particularly verse 6 as we couple that with speaking the truth in love)
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (particularly verse 11 as we remember that we have all come out of the world of sin)
Romans 5:1-11